...Well it's that time of year again, and inevitably every girl in the US (and some overseas) are all pondering the multitude of possibilities that this year's costume should be.
Oh the options are truly mind boggling,
Should I be a slutty nurse?
A slutty girl scout?
A slutty witch?
A slutty bunny?
A slutty mummy?
A slutty princess?
What to do…What to do…What to do.
It is at this time of the year that I seize up. In theory this holiday allows girls to embrace an otherwise shunned aspect of their personalities, I however, am not the biggest fan of displaying my otherwise slightly-less-then-stellar body (even in the name of holiday fun).
Why is it that Halloween has become the excuse of every woman's inner whore to surface for one night? I remember when it was about dressing up as a Ninja Turtle (I was Donatello) and carrying around my Mom's king size pillow case in order to collect the most loot. For some reason a little part of me mourns that it is no longer a holiday for fun, but rather an annual night of panties-on-parade. Now don't get me wrong, I am ALL for fun and debauchery. However, I'm not so sure that I am into street-corner-hooker fun. I long for the days that donning an outfit for Halloween doesn't mean a trip to Fredrick's of Hollywood.
I can recall last year being invited to a party and instead of "dressing up" I went as my own self. Upon arrival I was met with a chorus of Hollywood wanna-be's all dressed in as little clothing as possible to attract the most attention. Surprisingly though, I found that more people actually spoke to me and treated me like a human being. I think this is because even though those women were undeniably beautiful and strikingly under-clad that sort of thing eventually becomes something to ogle. Either the men were too intimidated to speak to these women, or they just got tired of staring at the endless fury leopard print jane outfits and slutty police women that they eventually all began to blend in to one redundant collage of beautiful half-naked women. The you've-seen-one-you've-seen-them-all syndrome.
I think this year for Halloween I am going to dress up. I am going to go as Janeane Garofalo so that I can stand in the corner and relentlessly mock the women who's need for attention faaaarrrrrrr outweighs their sense of decency.